


I've got nostalgia running through me.

by pseudofoucault333



Series: Malec Appreciation Week [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Camille Belcourt, Episode Related, Episode: s02e01 This Guilty Blood, Grieving Magnus Bane, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus' Relationship history, Past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Ragnor Fell gives Advice, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 14:24:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11670855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudofoucault333/pseuds/pseudofoucault333
Summary: Magnus tries to figure things about him and Alec while remembering a time where Ragnor gave him some valuable advice.Written forMalec Appreciation Week





	I've got nostalgia running through me.

**Title:** I've got nostalgia running through me.  
**Author:** pseudofoucault333 // bloodspeckledraphael  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairing:** Magnus/Alec  
**POV:** 3rd  
**Summary:** Magnus tries to figure things about him and Alec while remembering a time where Ragnor gave him some valuable advice.  
**Disclaimer:** The whole concept of Shadowhunters © the satan that is CC, don’t sue because the contents of my bank account is only worth next to nothing in US$. Also and I can't stress this enough I don't give permission for this or any other of my stuff to be reposted on Goodreads or anywhere else. If I find out it is I'll be pissed. Title © Bastille and Plot mostly based on fiction…i.e not real….but a girl can wish <3  
**Author Notes:** Currently unbeta'd, Written for Day 1 of [Malec Appreciation Week](http://bane--lightwood.tumblr.com/post/162806130174/so-because-i-love-alec-and-magnus-so-much-i), since I needed to get rid of this writer's block some how. I had also wrote another one...but it was slightly more depressing and I liked some details in this better. I might still post the other though depends.... Comments and Kudos = pwp and cookies :D

Although Magnus had known that Alec’s words had been the result of him stressing about the whereabouts of Jace on top of his parents’ attitude towards him coming out, it didn’t make the portal back to his apartment feel any less like he had come from the bad side of a fight than when he left the loft in the first place. Not that there was any reason to feel that way, as he had long since come to realise that Alec, with his inexperience, made it easy for him to act or say things without thinking about the consequences. Which was probably how the kiss in Alec’s supposed wedding probably came about if he really thought about since that wasn’t what he’d been aiming for when he went there.

Even Alec himself had asked Magnus _‘What did I just do?’_ after they parted, leaving Magnus’s high crashing down to earth like a rock in water at the knowledge that it wasn’t planned. Though to be fair him turning up to the wedding hadn’t exactly been planned either.

But for Magnus he hadn’t exactly planned to become so attached to a shadowhunter so quickly, his heart was still bruised and only just healing from his and Camille’s rather final break up compared to the several that they had had before. Though it had been all the harder for him to have to see her, to listen to her wittering her usual poison into his ear about how young Alec was….and how it was only a matter of time before something would happen to take the Shadowhunter from him. He was painfully aware of the fact, but part of him couldn’t help wondering if that had been one of her thinly veiled threats since he knew she hated to see him so happy.

With a sigh he turned on the lights of the apartment with a swirl of his fingers and tried to keep his mind off the bitter words that had come from Alec, by feeding the Chairman and going to change into something more comfortable before clearing away the last of the few possessions of Ragnor’s that he’d kept. Most of it had been old tat with the only occasional piece that he knew the other would have wanted Raphael, Catarina or even Tessa to have, a few little trinkets he’d set aside were from their few travels around that held significance to them. In Magnus’ case, things that Ragnor had brought even though he knew Magnus loved them, he had always been petty like that when he was drunk for days at a time.

Still the rather tasteful, although Ragnor never could appreciate it and would complain about the weight every time he wore it just to goad Magnus, Victorian gold signet ring with a shield shaped in bloodstone embedded in the gold was one that Magnus found himself constantly considering putting on since he’d found it the hidden compartment of a wooden box that Ragnor had used to store his ink and parchment. 

He’d had to adjust the ring with magic since Ragnor’s fingers were chunkier than his own and the last thing he wanted was for it to fall off and lose it but he often found himself staring at it even when he wasn’t wearing it. Imagining his friend wearing it and overly gesturing so the gold would catch the light and grab Magnus’ attention like a magpie to a diamond.

Along with a pale lilac cravat that had clashed horribly with Ragnor’s green skin that had Magnus both drunk and sober teasing him about it but the other had only ever seemed to wear when he knew Magnus was in a bad mood to bring some joy into his life.

Add to that the expensive solid eighteen karat gold cuff-links in the shapes of arrows, studded with jade at the bottom which had been the prize of Ragnor’s vast collection of the damned things. Magnus had never understood his friend’s fascination with them, even when they came into fashion in their decades of existence, he’d worn the same three pair to the point of ruin while Ragnor had spent hours agonizing over which was the best to match his suit according to the occasion. 

The pair had immediately reminded Magnus of Alec, if only because of their shape, but as things became tenser between them he would probably end up handing them over to Raphael along with the rest of Ragnor’s collection…. destined to be left in a glass cabinet and never touched by human hands again. 

Trying not to dwell on the items or his loss, Magnus turned to peeling off his clothing settling for crawling under his silk covers instead of doing the bit of martial arts that his magic was craving to let out some release of the build-up. He ended up with the TV on with some show that he normally would have watched religiously just playing in the background, the Chairman curled up on his stomach with the bare fingers of one hand stroking his cat’s fur as his gaze rested on the ceiling, toying with the ring he’d picked up along the way between the fingers of his free hand.

He could almost hear Ragnor asking him why he wasn’t trying to make amends with Alec, though chance would be a fine thing from where Magnus was sitting where the younger was concerned. Especially when he wasn’t even in the wrong, getting his head bitten off for trying to help just made all those old questions that had popped up over old relationships about being a pet warlock appear again.

He had never had to worry about that with Etta or Imasu, while they had known what he was after enduring the discovery of his cats’ eyes, they hadn’t understood the history behind the power that Magnus wielded in his fingertips. They had never asked him to do anything for them because they were so beautifully mundane and it had made it all the easier for him to erase their memories of the fact when they called things quits before they walked out the door for the last time. 

Camille, on the other hand, had always known. Or at least made it her business to know, just like she knew about everyone else of importance in Magnus’ downworlder family. He knew she would have nagged Ragnor, Catarina or Tessa if she wanted something but it was always him she turned to like she knew he could never say no to her. His downfall if he was at all honest with himself.

Ragnor had been the one who brought the danger of that position to him while they were in Monte Carlo during the 1920's, Camille wittling away what little fortune he had let himself give her for the tables when she wasn’t being flirted with by a Black Jack dealer. Magnus hadn’t been interested in gambling and he tried to assure himself he was more content seeing her happy than he was joining her, even if that meant that he spent the whole night at the bar watching her flirting over a cocktail. 

For the first half hour Ragnor had sat beside him, not saying anything which was probably a record, but it seemed to break around his third amber coloured cocktail that seemed to contain more alcohol than Magnus would usually drink, while Magnus merely let his fingertips trace the rim of the same glass he’d barely touched all night.

_“You do know she’s playing you like a fiddle my friend…” Ragnor said, when he caught Magnus’ gaze resting on Camille who was sipping a cocktail that a bystander had just brought her, her red lips lit up in a smile that glimmered in her eyes._

_“Ragnor…” Magnus sighed, like he knew what his friend was going to say as he’d been saying the same thing since Camille persuaded Magnus that she should come along on their European trip._

_“No…I know what you’re going to say but would you please just listen to me for once?” Ragnor pleaded, as his new drink was set in front of him and his old glass removed to be cleaned._

_“Fine, I’ll humor you…what do you think I should know that I don’t already?” Magnus asked, his gaze rested on where his fedora was sat on the bar in front of him._

_“She doesn’t and will never love you the way you love her my friend. She sees you as a meal ticket and a pet warlock all in one. It’s like her dreams have all come true at once.” Ragnor said, stirring his cocktail and looking down as though it pained him to be the one to destroy Magnus’ bliss._

_“Pet warlock? When has she ever treated me like that?” Magnus asked, though deep in the back of his mind part of him knew it was true._

__

_The meals she wanted conjured out of thin air, the magic she wanted him to use to undress and prepare her at night…. even the little defensive spell she encouraged him to use when someone said a bad word against her. It was so completely telling…. she wouldn’t want him around if he was a plain mundane._

_“All the time and I think deep in your heart of hearts you know that. You may love her and grasp desperately for any inclination that she feels the same way but it will never be. If you gave up your magic she would scramble for another warlock or seelie for that magical buzz before you could blink.” Ragnor said, resting a reassuring hand on his wrist._

_Magnus downed his nursed cocktail in one instead of replying and ordered something stronger before daring to look at his friend._

_“Why are you telling me this? Don’t I deserve to be happy?” Magnus finally asked, his voice croaky from the drink as he watched Ragnor’s features soften._

_“Of course you do. More so than anyone else I have had the fortune to know in my decades of existence. But never at the expense of the pain she will inflict on you when you see her true colours. When it creeps up on you gradually, when you see it in her face when she rejects your proposal…it will destroy you my friend. And you don’t deserve that.” Ragnor said, setting down enough francs on the bar to cover Magnus’ new cocktail as well as his own._

_“Is that all I’m destined to be though? A pet warlock of Nephilim while I wait for this supposed one who will love me through the ages unconditionally? A slave to my people, ally to the night children and healer of the children of the moon. Isn’t that a miserable existence to bare?” Magnus asked, staring into the depths of his new cocktail._

_“Maybe that is something to consider. Love may consume your heart because of a pair of pretty eyes or a chest you want to worship but it will never save you on a cold night when you’re in desperate need. True, a balance between the two would be a miracle but always be weary of the moment they ask you for more than you can give. You should never have to demonstrate your worth to someone who truly loves you.” Ragnor said, tilting his head so their gazes met._

_“Is that why you are still a lonely bachelor who has time enough to follow me and Camille around Europe before going back to teach young Nephilim what the Clave doesn’t want them to know?” Magnus asked with a raised eyebrow._

_“Maybe I find more meaning in trying to reform the children of the Nephilim from previous mistakes than letting myself be swayed into allowing those mistakes to continue,” Ragnor shrugged, downing the last of his cocktail and sliding down from his barstool. “Just think about what I said Magnus, that’s all I’m saying.”_

_Magnus opened his mouth to object when Camille appeared at his elbow, eyes widen and lips pouted as she asked if he had any more money since she was having such fun. Magnus took a glance at Ragnor who was putting his coat and hat back on and tilted his head as if the scene was exactly what he was talking about. But before Magnus could verbally ask, the elder Warlock had left through the crowd in a shimmer of a glamour to their rooms, leaving his attention pulled back to Camille._

Though he would never admit it Ragnor’s words had stuck with him through every relationship. Every time he was stupid enough to take Camille back her real colours started to show and just as his friend predicted she turned him down when he proposed. The pain was dulled a little because of his friend’s words, even though Ragnor was living in Idris at the time and Magnus left Camille in Rome through a portal, ending up in Raphael’s room at the Dumort. 

He had never thought of those words when he met Alec though, never imagined Alec would use him as bitterly as Camille had. And to be fair the raven-haired Shadowhunter hadn’t. If something happened he never asked, as though he didn’t want Magnus to think he was taking advantage of him. It was always Isabelle, Clary or Jace that was banging on his door demanding favours as though the fact he was seeing Alec entitled them to free help. 

Although Jace’s absence seemed to have turned his thoughts on the matter on its head, leaving him demanding things if only for the chance to get his Parabatai back sooner. If Magnus knew where he was he would get the Herondale back for his Alexander, honestly. He would do anything since he hated him feeling so out of sorts. But it wasn’t to be….and Alec seemed to be blaming him for Jace’s disappearance when really the only one at fault was Jace. Who always seemed to get a reprieve because of the runes that connected them.

But it was true that to some degree Alec had tried to get him to demonstrate his worth to him by continuing to push and push to help find Jace when Magnus was exhausted, had had to deal with Aldertree’s looks of distain on top of Maryse’s and just wanted to be able to have some peace. Being made to feel guilty because of that need wasn’t helping anyone.

The Chairman nudged his hand that was holding Ragnor’s ring to get his attention, causing Magnus to set the ring aside and offer the cat a smile as he scratched him behind the ears.

“I know sweetie, Daddy’s letting his thoughts run away with him again, isn’t he? Better top up your food and get these stretches out the way.” Magnus sighed, setting the cat on the bed beside him and rummaging through his closet for some workout clothes of which he only had a few. It was hard to keep fit, be a High Warlock and run all his businesses.

He settled on a pair of black yoga pants, sneakers and grabbed a zip up hoodie for later since he always got a bit warm and made his way out the room after dressing, with the Chairman on his heels. Hopefully this would help him get all this aggravation out his body before Alec decided to turn up. 

If he turned up.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> [ My Tumblr.](http://bloodspeckledraphael.tumblr.com/)


End file.
